Project MotherHOOD with Xiomara C
I’m a 40yr old mom, native from El Salvador. I have degree in journalism & fine arts. I ended up doing what I enjoy and that is working in fashion in Visual presentations & decor. I have been doing that now for 17yrs.
I was in my first marriage for 8 yrs and my son was born 5 yrs into the marriage. Emilio was a miracle, born in 2010. I thought we could never have children and we were okay with the idea of just us.
I was never a huge kid person, I have many relatives with children but I was never into them, I was always scared of them getting hurt and stuff.
During my pregnancy I worked full time at Valentino (I was with them for 8 years) until the end, I was moving the same way I always did, gained 45 pounds and during a major heat wave summer with swollen feet, never complained and got through it.
I thought I would have Emilio naturally, but unfortunately at the hospital after they induced me, I was told I had to have a C section. So it was not easy, I have never ever depended on anyone else, I don't like asking for help and I know I’m a major control freak. The fact that I had to drag myself to breast feed my newborn was extremely depressing for me. I felt I was letting him down and I was mad at the situation. My three months that I fought with my work to take, were all to recuperate and take care of Emilio. My husband at that time felt neglected and after 1 year and a 1/2, he said he was not happy and would be leaving. I was okay with that. I knew we were both not happy, except I knew I would of never had walked away, so him doing it, did me a favor. That following weekend when he moved out, I drove to my moms house in VA with Emilio in the backseat and after almost 7 hours in crazy traffic, bad weather, a few throw ups, we made it. He was gone.
It was not easy, between full time work, arranging to have him with a sitter and long nights of no sleep (he was never a sleeper) when he was 2. I began to have tendonitis, the worst pain on my wrist, snapping, buttoning any pressure on my thumbs was torture. I had thick skin and was never a cry baby, but that pain was miserable. Especially when you want to be attentive to all your responsibilities. Soon after I begin to have Alopecia a lost of hair on form of circles on my head and it felt like I was collapsing, but my motherly responsibilities never changed, I loved my son and I had to fight to be better.
I begin to realize after a hand surgery, a cast for 2 months and still doing what I had to do with full time work and my son, that I had to start to do something to HELP ME. Cortisone shots would help and going to the doctors didn't really help any more.
***SO I begin to SALSA again and went out by myself, for a few hours. I would see at the bar have ONLY one drink and observed after 3 months on doing that once a week, my hair begin to grow. I begin to socialize more when Emilio would spend the night with his dad once a week.
I didn’t rest those nights and would be so fatigue but it didn’t matter matter it was my me time and ultimately one of my best medicines.
I also begin to do the special K thing, ate lots of fruits and vegetables and then a regular big dinner not past 7:30pm. That help too. Eventually my wrist pain went away and I had already had the schedule surgery date, that was cancelled and then I realized how important it was to take care of me, it really was a matter of having a balance of everything and not feeling guilty about not being with my son ALL the time I could. I was happier and everything and everyone around me was happier too.
The must happy battery for me is my CAFESITO con leche, I don't smoke, never have and I don't drink alcohol heavenly, just when I socialize a drink or two. I love to clean and keep my house organized that helps me feel happy too. I involve Emilio all house activities (cleaning, organizing & cooking) and it sure helps him to learn to be an independent young man.
When Emilio was 2, I started working as Director of Visuals at GHURKA a leathers good exclusive company. One of my former bosses recruited me and they worked around my schedule, 3 years later they were pushing for me to travel more, going to Paris & London, LA & Palm BeachI started to realize working full time and in higher positions didn’t make me happy, it was starting to keep me away from my son too long, made me sad. I quit working full time and decided to begin a consult/freelance on my own and provided my visual services to different companies. It has not been financially the same but I have to say the peace of mind and sharing quality time with my family has been more important then anything else in this world to me, and so far I feel more accomplished and richer then ever.
My favorite beauty must do is always wear a great set of earrings & my CARMEX. But honestly I like to try to throw on something I feel pretty or sexy in all the time, never spend much time on my hair or makeup. Good accessories are always a must but never attached.
For any new mother or mother out there, all I can say because I personally experienced it is, DO WHATEVER WORKS BEST FOR YOU! Only you know yourself perfectly and what you need to be fulfilled in your mind and heart. Not your mother, your husband, boyfriend, NOBODY can help you be happy, only you can. Once that’s accomplish or understood, you become positive and you start to see negative not in an angry, revenge way but as a sad thing; so you try to help the “negative” in a caring and loving way. I have noticed that in me a whole lot, I let people speak and give me their opinions, I respect and I’m never rude. But I only retain the information that may work for me.
Ultimately this behavior I have allow in my life gives me inner peace and that transitions into my son, I’m happy and so is he. Thats whats really important!
Thank you Xiomara!
@xcontreras1
