Project MotherHOOD with Ayala Donchin
I'm the Owner & Executive Chef at Evelyn's Kitchen, a cafe and catering company filled with heart and soul. Our kitchen is located in East Harlem. Days change with our events and orders. We cater to a high end/celebrity clientele and manage in house events for a select number of corporate clients. Our cafe is open 5 days a week serving lunch and dinner and we curate a Private Chef's Table by Reservation Only a few times a month.
I started EK in 2009 after spending 15 years working in Sports & Entertainment. I ran Community Relations for the New York Knicks for a few years in the early 2000's and then started a consulting company overseeing community impact programs for athletes, celebrities and brands that do business with them. I ran that company with my business partner, Erica Dottin, for 7 years until I decided to follow my passion and launched Evelyn's Kitchen.
In general we know Motherhood to be hard work, exhausting and yet very rewarding. How would you describe Motherhood in your own terms as it relates to the experience you want it be or have made it to be?
I had my daughter when my business was in its 6th year. And overnight, literally, my priorities changed. I think I just truly wasn't aware not just how difficult it would be balancing work and being a mama. But even more than that, I never necessarily felt torn. She came along and just became the priority. There just wasn't an option for me not to put her first at all times. So in that first year, my business really suffered. Ironically, we were poised to really grow that year...like everything I had worked so hard for and sacrificed so much for the previous 5 years was all coming to fruition. We had just been featured as a favorite thing in Oprah's O Magazine. I had Brooklyn in March 2015, and in May, just 8 weeks later, we launched on QVC, selling 25,000 goodies in just 8 minutes. Then about 2 months after that we opened our 2nd retail store at Gotham West Market in midtown. And about an month later we started doing daily catering for the crew of The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. We were so busy and I was had 18 full time staff working in 4 different locations and trying to manage the growth as well as figure out how to be a mom and spend as much time with my baby as possible. She came everywhere with me. It was nuts. I was so in over my head I couldn't even see straight. So it took me about a year and being right out on the ledge with nothing getting done right. I finally decided enough was enough and put my big girl panties on. I closed our 2nd location and our catering kitchen, turned down QVC for a repeat appearance and decided to go back to basics. I put myself on a schedule that I could focus on managing the business from 8am to 4pm daily and be present as her mama with no distractions when I got home. I streamlined my staff and began to be much more creative and selective with my time. And I'm fortunate to have a very supportive group of friends. Whats funny is that some of the people I considered close friends and I thought I could count on before I had my baby have disappeared from our lives. But then other people stepped up and became family and had my back in ways I couldn't even imagine. So I guess it all evens out. I'm sorry for those that aren't around but I'm so so grateful for the village that has stuck with me and loves my daughter so unconditionally and makes things just a little easier. And for the new friends I've made and had my back for my team at EK that has rocked with me to allow me to figure out this work/life/mama balance.
As a Mother, what is the one thing that you want your daughter to gain from you?
I hope Brooklyn continues to be fearless, confident and persistent in pursuit of her dreams and her happiness. I hope she's kind and has faith, in herself and her people.
How has Motherhood inspired you?
Being Brooklyn's mom has inspired me to be more open and optimistic. This little person who loves me and trusts me and believes in me and is always so damn happy....she inspires me to be my best person daily. I've always been really laid back...I don't have high highs or low lows. But there is such a sense of purpose now to my life on a daily basis and that brings calmness and power in layers I'd never experienced before.
What's your favorite beauty fix when you are feeling exhausted on the inside and on the go?
Sneaking off for a mani/pedi is always a good thing. For a splurge I head to Bliss Spa for their Youth As You Know It Facial. And I love taking some time at home once once a week to pamper myself. I am loving the Philosophy line my fave of theirs right now is the TIme WIll Reveal Line. I look (and feel) all fresh and hydrated and relaxed after.
One of two: A note of compassion you want to offer a Mother reading this. Preferably something that might/could have been comforting to you at one point of time. OR Note to self.
I really think all mama's are just trying to figure it out, day to day. So for what its worth, for me when someone tells me I'm doing a good job being a mom, it means the world. Its like wow..thank you for noticing because this is so hard! Be easy on yourself because whatever you are doing is whats best for you and your child so just relax and enjoy.
Thank you Ayala!
@evelynskitchen
