Project MotherHOOD with Taylor Evans Bernal
I work full time for a non-profit in human resources. I love supporting and encouraging people to do their best work and I believe with the right resources everyone can be their best! I am married to a NYC public school high school teacher whom I often refer to as, "the coolest person I know."
How would you define Motherhood in your own terms?
My assumption before becoming a mother is that it would change me. When my daughter was born, I couldn't believe how wrong I was. Yes, my life has changed in very technical terms - my schedule, my free time, but who I am and what I value has remained the same. My kids are curious and observant and have incredible memories, which means I see my values in them everyday. It also means I need to be living my values in action in every way. I am grateful that motherhood has given me the opportunity to sharpen my values.
What part of Motherhood can you give thanks to helping you see life differently?
I used to spend time thinking about all the ways I wanted the world to change, but I felt unable (and if I am being honest, unwilling) to do anything about it. I have realized, since becoming a mother, how short sighted that attitude was. Watching my kids grow and learn and change, this has taught me that small changes over time really work. The capacity for human learning and growth is incredible! There is always time to change, grow, improve and I have been working to approach any challenges with that mindset.
We do our best and can't do it all. Where do you allow yourself to be unapologetic as a Mother?
I am so thankful to have a strong co-parent who supports me and whom I can support. There are times when I literally throw up my hands and have to tag out. In those cases, my husband always steps in to take the lead. The two of us eat dinner together every night after we put our kids to bed. The research says we should eat as a family, but for our family, eating as couple together makes us better parents. This is our time to debrief, reconnect, and relax together and it's something I look forward to every day.
How has Motherhood inspired you?
One of my colleagues told me recently that his mom graduated college the same year as me. At first, I thought, wow I am so old. Later I changed my perspective and thought wow I could have raised an amazing son like this guy - mature, smart and a joy to work with. Before having kids, I never once thought about the power and influence of parents. I am now incredibly inspired by the responsibly of being a mom and, sometimes, just a little freaked out by it.
A must do for you when your energy is low.
Basically, getting outside - if I am in our apartment more than a couple of hours, I start to go crazy! I like running, walking and getting close to nature. Recently, we have been taking long Sunday afternoon walks in the park, sometimes getting lost in the woods. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, when I push myself physically, I am more awake and patient with my family later in the day. I am more focused on being all I can be for them.
One of two: A note of compassion you want to offer a Mother reading this. Preferably something that might/could have been comforting to you at one point of time. OR Note to self.
My kids get grumpy when they are tired and hungry - just like me and most of us! There have been many times when my kids just need sleep and can't calm themselves down to fall asleep. For our family, the solution has been to cry it out. A few nights of sleep training and everyone sleeps through the night. I know this solution doesn't work for everyone, but every time we are forced to do it, the next morning my kids ALWAYS wake up happy. Those mornings make me remember that sometimes short term struggle is worth long term gain. Whatever problem you and your kids are dealing with, remember this too shall pass.
Thank You Taylor!
@taylorbernal
