Project MotherHOOD with Sallome Hralima
Full-time Cheif Dream Director for the Future Project. Happily married Mama living in NYC raising a toddler girl.
How would you define MotherHOOD in this day of age as it pertains to you?
Motherhood has proven to be the self-help journey of a lifetime. In it you are guaranteed the breakthroughs and breakdowns, the insights and miracles, the introspection and transformation that I have paid good money for in the past. While Dream isn't yet two years old, from the moment I discovered I was pregnant until this morning, I am met with challenges and opportunities that continue to grow me and make me a better person.
Where do you feel we as Mothers sell ourselves short when it comes to Motherhood?
I was watching the second episode of the Cosby Show with my husband recently. Claire Huxtable says something like: "I was beautiful before the children." I turned to my husband and said: "I feel the same way." He was surprised. I couldn't understand why he was. But I definitely have not taken the time that I used to to indulge in that which made me feel beautiful - body work, shopping for myself, wearing sexy lingerie under my close on a random day, getting a new hairdo, spending time in Sephora playing in perfumes and blushes. And while none of that made me beautiful, I certainly felt beautiful. The reality is there are new elements/aspects to our beauty that we dismiss because we are not doing those things, or not doing them as much. Motherhood looks extremely sexy on many of us. We have to look at ourselves with a new lens or we are doomed to see ourselves negatively for a lifetime.
We do our best and can't do it all. Where do you allow yourself to be unapologetic as a Mother?
I am unapologetic about my need to do nothing sometimes. Doing nothing could look like a book of fiction, a Netflix series, or FaceTime with my cousins 3,000 mi away. That doing nothing could look like I am avoiding the dishes, making the bed, going grocery shopping, and the like. With the amount of conscious and unconscious brain and physical power being expended daily, when I feel the urge to "do nothing," I usually do just that.
How has Motherhood inspired you?
I have been inspired to be more connected to my family. I speak to and travel to see my family more as a mother than I did as a young woman. I know my mother is happy, not just to be a grandmother, but to be more communicative with her. I know that my cousins - most parents as well - are grateful for the new kinds of conversations that we get to have as we get older.
What's your favorite beauty must do when you are feeling exhausted on the inside and on the go? Beauty must do - a scent I love.
One of two: A note of compassion you want to offer a Mother reading this. Preferably something that might/could have been comforting to you at one point of time. OR Note to self.
Note to self: You were wrong. You thought that waiting until well into your 30s to have children would ensure that you were more ready for motherhood. The truth is, you're never ready. And that is true, not just for having a child, but for raising them too. So when you think you are prepared for any given thing along this journey, remember this truth versus thinking you're ready. There's beauty, joy, and discovery in the unknown.
Thank you Sallome!