Project MotherHOOD with Anushka Gopilall

I work full-time. I hold a dual title of Special Projects Manager and Administrative Manager for the Center of Health Policy and Programs at the New York Academy of Medicine. I’ve been with the Academy for 3+ years, and in the healthcare field for over 12 years.

I am a single mom of a beautiful young girl named Rianna. I was pregnant at 19 and became a mom at 20 years old so it’s safe to say, Rianna and I were “growing up together”, so to speak! I dropped out of college to raise my daughter and provide for her. She is one of the reasons I am who I am today. In addition to being a young professional in my field, I am also an mompreneur. I am the Founder and President of the Ari Foundation, a non-profit organization that focuses on women empowerment, self-empowerment, and youth empowerment. We offer a plethora of events, programming, outreach initiatives, and more to empower and inspire these three specific audiences. My goal is to create a platform for women and youth to express themselves freely and give and/ or create opportunities to enhance and enrich their lives in all aspects. I am also the founder and CEO of the Anushka Gopilall Network, which is a consulting company that specializes in providing resources, guidance, technical assistance, workshops, and scale up opportunities to small businesses. I’ve linked my 9-5 career into my own company as I do this work on a day to day basis, and it brings me such joy and pleasure to help other entrepreneurs and business owners who are in need of assistance.

On top of all of this I am enrolled in courses at NYU School of Professional Studies. I achieved my goals by creating my own path and teachings. I enrolled in NYU because they offer courses that are applicable to my career and give me the hands on experience I desire. It takes me straight to the points I need and I do not waste time with things I will not be utilizing. Time is of the essence for me so I curated a curriculum for myself that suits my needs and desire of education tailored to my profession.

1. The term motherhood is changing. How would you define the word MotherHOOD as it relates to you in this day of age?

When I think of MotherHOOD, I think of shattering glass ceilings; I think Phenomenal Women; I think Powerful Women! We are so much more than just our child(ren) these days. We are business women, serial entrepreneurs, public figures, etc. Motherhood has brought out the best in me! I not only have the pleasure of raising my amazing little human, but also the opportunity to mold a part of the future to become positively impactful, as children are the future. MotherHOOD gave me a more fulfilling reason to shoot higher than the sky. I have someone watching me at all times and mimicking what I say and do. I am her first hero and her role model.

2. Can you share with us, what it was like for you emotionally after experiencing your miscarriage?

I was 19 when I experienced my first miscarriage. This was heartbreaking for me. My happiness turned into sadness and sorrow. It was one of the hardest things I’ve gone through because I really wanted to have my son. My doctor realized there was no heartbeat when I went in for an appointment. He had scheduled me for a D&C 4 days after. I cried so much within that time. Here I was imagining how much my life would change and looking forward to motherhood so eagerly just to find out it isn’t so. I didn’t make it to my procedure because my body couldn’t hold the dead fetus until then. I started to bleed heavily and in so much pain. I was scared because I never felt pain like this before. I lost a lot of blood and almost fainted. I blead out everything, the doctor said, but I didn’t bleed out my sorrow. I cried hysterically at the hospital once I woke up after surgery. I was so hurt and so numb. I couldn’t believe it. I felt empty and hopeless.

3. At that time, how has that experience inspire your journey?

My miscarriage of my baby boy led to the conception of my baby girl. When I was pregnant for him, I wrote a note to GOD and put it in my bible asking HIM to keep my family together and my baby safe, and whatever HE chose I’d accept. I had forgotten about this note because I was consumed by my pregnancy with my daughter and then motherhood. About three years later I found the note, and it triggered my memory as I read it. Tears filled my eyes because it was dated December 3, 2003 and my daughter was born December 3, 2004, a year EXACTLY from when I wrote the note asking GOD to protect my baby. My Faith was at an all-time high at this point. GOD covered my babies, both Rianna and her sibling. So though it wasn’t meant for me to have my son, it was meant for me to have Rianna. She is my special gift from GOD. Honestly, finding that note I wrote to GOD is what has inspired me beyond measure because it represents the power and favor of HIM. I believe HE showed me what HE could do for a reason. It was to let me know HE will ALWAYS see me through any hurdles and any misfortune and any sorrow. He showed me that no time is greater than HIS timing, and that I am deserving of being a mother. My journey to finding myself had begun… That was the beginning of my self-reinvention!

4. As a mother, looking back, how has this shaped you?

The miscarriage has not shaped me. I understand that things do happen beyond our control, and I accept GOD’S doing so I do not question it because I trust HIM. Nothing will change the love I have for my son. What’s shaped me is the birth of my daughter and knowing that GOD gave me her. I am a far better person because of Rianna. She is the root of everything I do and strive for. She is my motivation and my everything. I wouldn’t trade her for the world but I’d trade the world for her.

5. One of two: A note of compassion you want to offer a Mother reading this. Preferably something that might/could have been comforting to you at one point of time. OR Note to self.

To a fellow Mom (and myself too): Don’t be too hard on yourself. Understand that you are enough and your best is always enough. Your child(ren) love and appreciate you no matter how much or how little you give as long as it is genuine. Strive not only for them, but also for yourself because a happy mommy equals a happy kiddie! And don’t ever limit yourself, go out and do everything your heart desires all while still being an awesome

Thank you Anushka! anushka_gopilall Mom! Who said a girl can’t have it all?!... I beg to differ!