Project MotherHOOD with Alexandra Beaty

I worked for the first two years of my first child’s life from home, doing marketing for a New York City art gallery. After my second pregnancy I decided it was time to step back from working full time. I would end up doing a few projects here and there, but nothing that took up too many hours of my day. My daughters are now four years old and two years old. I just began painting my latest collection, after taking a long hiatus from painting. I’ve been recently inspired to begin creating again. The last exhibit I had was when my oldest child was a newborn, right before we all jetted off to live in Oahu, HI. Where we were stationed for four years. We were a brand new family unit, newly married, first time parents, new

home state, new everything! It was all very exciting, but also extremely overwhelming. Due to a lot of the changes in my life and as a brand new mommy I did experience postpartum depression. Thankfully, once my first child was around 16months old, I resurfaced with a brighter outlook on my life and fully immersed in raising a happy, healthy baby.

1. The term motherhood is changing. How would you define the word MotherHOOD as it relates to you in this day of age?

Motherhood is holding up a mirror and being forced to truly look at oneself. And not just look, but also having to resolve any unfinished business you have lingering. Motherhood is persistent, she shows you the way and if you try for any reason to go off course, she’ll send you a rude reminder not to mess with her. Motherhood is nurturing; she is warm and gentle. Motherhood doesn’t allow you to be selfish; it’s no longer about ME, but now THEM. I learned to stop fighting motherhood soon after my second child was born. It had a profound impact on how I parented my girls. So much so, that I can see the affects of it in my daughters personalities. My first child is a perfectionist, always pointing out when something doesn’t seem right, highly intelligent, sensitive and always looking for my approval. My second child is free spirited, not a care in the world, stubborn, assertive and not afraid to roar at life. For the longest time I beat myself up about hovering over my first child, being scared at all times I wasn’t doing enough for her, carrying unnecessary guilt. But as I grew and learned, it’s like she grew right along with me and till this day you can see her observe my every move. Which is why it’s so important I stick to my new mommy values and show her life is meant to be enjoyed, not controlled.

2. Motherhood is hard for all of us, what part of it has been hard for you?

Definitly the hardest part about motherhood was when I was suffering with my thyroid and was diagnosed with Graves Disease. My second child was three months old when I was diagnosed. When she was five months old I had to stop breastfeeding, due to my daily medication I’d have to be on for my entire life. When she was a year old I had a thyroidectomy and had my thyroid removed entirely. Here I was a stay at home mom, with two toddlers and only the help of my already exhausted husband who was handling all the duties at his unit and now having to take care of his sick wife and two kids. Our hands were certainly full for a solid year and half. At first it didn’t seem like there would ever be life after Graves, but after a lot of work, healing, prayer, therapy and hope we came out victorious. We all did, and just typing these words brings tears to my eyes. I am so incredibly grateful for that dark time in my life and in the life of my family, because we are so much stronger individually and as a family now. I honestly feel like a freakin’ superhero after overcoming Graves.

3. What do you feel we as Mothers overlook in terms of being possible in our personal futures?

We think we can’t be present with our children and families, if we pursue our own dreams. We hinder ourselves, and end up unconsciously holding them

accountable for giving up on ourselves. When all our children and families want is to see us rise and reach our goals.

4. Was there a time you felt like you couldn't be present in regards to pursuing your dreams?

To be honest I am still trying to figure this one out. I am blessed that I have the option to be a stay at home mom. I am the type of person who wants to always give 110% of myself. I have been doing just that for the last four years. I remember when I first became a mom, I read somewhere that the first three years of a child's life are the most critical. That stuck with me, I knew I wanted to be present for my girls. Especially since I'd been given the opportunity to do so. I've done my best, to be there for my girls. To enjoy these first years in their lives, I had to learn to be playful, to be more present, to be silly and have fun like a child. I didn't get to experience it for myself as a kid and knew I wanted to provide that to my girls. I am now just slowly getting back to my art and I have a whole new love to share with my work. I don't regret putting my career on hold to raise my girls. In my heart I felt God was telling me to enjoy motherhood right now, because this stage wouldn't last forever. Not only have they grown, but I have too. We've grown together.

5. How has Motherhood inspired or shaped you?

Motherhood has inspired me to be true to my authentic self, to love myself more, to honor myself, because when I do this I have an abundance of love to give to my children and husband. I feel motherhood will continuously change me as we grow along together. So far she’s made me into a pretty badass mama bear.

6. One of two: A note of compassion you want to offer a Mother reading this. Preferably something that might/could have been comforting to you at one point of time. OR Note to self.

Note of compassion: Be kind to yourself! Stop; please stop comparing yourself to other moms. Here is a verse I love to read and remind myself of whenever I catch myself drifting off course. “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14. God made me the mother of Annabella Delaney and Finley Francisca Beaty. And there is no other soul on this earth that could be their mommy.

Thank you Alexandra!