Project MotherHOOD with Patricia Yanez

I’m married. Contemplating starting a few side businesses/projects. (Only motherhood could convince you that you do that on top of raising a child.)

1. The term motherhood is changing, it's no longer limited to parenting one way. How would you define what you want Motherhood to be?

I want motherhood to be my greatest triumph. Becoming a mother was a life goal of mine since I was a kid and I’m so proud to be mothering just as I wanted to.

I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up and there were many times I questioned marriage, but I always knew I wanted to be a mother. Success, for me, will be measured in raising a confident, critical thinking and cultured daughter. She is already my greatest triumph.

2. Motherhood is tough, what has been the toughest part of being a Mother for you?

One of the hardest parts of Motherhood for me were the transitions. It may sound obvious to some, but when I was pregnant, I had to mourn the loss of the “self” I knew. I knew things would be different, but actually going through the changes was hard. I even resented my husband for how little our decision to have a baby affected him. I had to adjust/consider everything: food I ate, workouts, career opportunities, how I slept, etc.

And now, I’m trying to find my way to the new me. I hate seeing those headlines about “how to get your old body back”. There’s no way you can “go back”. Having a baby is transformative. Your body and mind are forever different (in the best and worst ways all at the same time.) There’s no going backward. Only forwards.

Also, breastfeeding continues to challenge me. I also hate when people say things like "Breastfeeding is natural". It is, but that doesn't mean it comes naturally to you or the baby. I'm closing in on 15 months of breastfeeding and pumping while working full time...and man, this breastmilk-ing stuff is not for the weak. I've plowed through baby's lip & tongue tie, cracked nipples, and constant dips in milk supply. Between my two breasts, the right one (super boob) has a 3:1 output compared to the left.

3. In what ways do you have to remind yourself to be gentle with yourself on this journey?

I don’t think I remind myself of this enough. The mom guilt (when I miss bedtime or have to travel for work) is real.

4. As a mother, looking back, how has this shaped you?

Motherhood has taught me to calm the fuck down. I used to be so uptight about unimportant things like timeliness and a neat home and the reality is, life is too short to let those things drive me crazy. Don’t get me wrong, my house is mostly in check and I still try really hard to be on time, but I’ve had to lower my standards because: kids!. I’ve also outsourced home cleaning once a month to treat myself. And it makes me so happy to walk through our sparkling clean home.

5. One of two: A note of compassion you want to offer a Mother reading this. Preferably something that might/could have been comforting to you at one point in time. OR Note to self.

Especially to the moms in “the fourth trimester”: It’s all temporary. It gets better. You may think strongly about leaving your spouse—it’s your fluctuating hormones talking—don’t listen. Also, you’re a badass. You got this.

Thank you! @parlatina