Project Motherhood with Yong-Suk Jones
Trying to end the cycles of abuse my mother imposed upon me, and her mother imposed upon her have been the hardest. Don't get me wrong, my mother was the most sacrificial mother I've ever encountered. She loved my brother and I more than she loved herself. That may have been part of the issue. But, she was also very emotionally, mentally and physically abuse towards me, not towards my brother, but towards me. I don't blame her for any of it. As a matter of fact, while I was going through the abuse as a child, I would always hear in my ear, "it's not you, your mother is hurt, you will be okay." I believe this may have been my spirit guides or Angel's getting me through the abuse. I later found out 17 years after her death, that she was abused by her parents and others in horrific ways that no child should ever endure. So, for me, the toughest part about being a mother, is not repeating the cycles of abuse, loving my kids unconditionally, being aware of how I speak and react to them and loving myself whole heartedly. Learning to fall in love with myself again, which in turn shows my boys how to love themselves.
I feel so inspired and empowered by my two Suns!! They have accomplished in their 14 and 16 years of life, more than many teenagers have! From living in China, to Spain and traveling to France. I just recently left the country for the first time in my life! They are insanely talented soccer players and are determined to become professionals! I was an athlete growing up, but not even close to the level they are on! I'm so incredibly proud to call them my Suns! They make me laugh and inspire me to fulfill my own dreams again!! After my mom passed they reminded me of why life is worth living!